I'm a bawlbag. I cry easily - I cry at any thing that is touching. My grandsons recently watched the Hannah Montana Movie, and their comments were all about whether Granny would be crying at this point or that. And of course - they were right!
I cry over commercials, Hallmark cards, touching stories - and I have trained my daughters well. We can't share much of anything without tears! They are not sad tears - they are just how we express ourselves. We can be laughing - and shedding tears at the same time! Tears release some sort of healing power - but can also be exhausting!
There's another amazing thing about tears - we never run out of them - we never seem to run dry.
I am glad God gave us the gift of tears.
Lately, I've been thinking about expectations. Have you ever considered how our expectations color our thinking, our happiness and our lives, to some degree? Sometimes our expectations are totally unrealistic, I mean, through the roof! What happens when these expectations are not realized? We may end up disheartened, disillusioned, even depressed. When our high expectations are not met, we can begin to see everything in a negative light - nothing's good or right. Is that true? More than likely - NOT. Conversely, when my expectations are too low, I am unmotivated and end up not even realizing what could have been.
Expectations. How in the world do we keep them exactly where they need to be? Just as with everything else in our life - we can only keep them right with God's help. The Word of God speaks to our expectations.
Proverbs 10:28 says: "The hope (expectation) of the righteous shall be gladness: but the expectation of the wicked shall perish." God knows our thoughts, our motives, our secret desires. If our expectations are centered in Him, and given by Him - they will result in gladness, whatever the outcome. If they are centered in self, in pride, or whatever motive there might be - they will perish.
Recently, I got to take ESL training. I have prayed that God would open the door to use me in some way to impact those in our town who do not speak English. My expectations were positive, I think not too high, but also not low. As of today, I have 4 prospective students - Praise the Lord! I am thrilled and I am terrified. I am dependent on Him to fill me and use me. I will let you know how my expectations turn out from here. But right now - my expectations re: this endeavor have resulted in gladness.
Expectations. Consider yours...
being a momma. You young mothers - get ready. This is a job for life. I'm sure you've already figured that out, (smile). Those little ones that come forth from your body have a tight grip on your heart.
My children are grown...married...most are parents or about to be parents. Yet, I find myself praying for them now more than ever. I find myself ready to do whatever they need as much as I am able.
My heart is still engaged as strongly as ever! The relationship changes...they are now my best friends as well as my children. But they still call when they have questions, hurts, needs - or joys to share.
What a joy! What an awesome responsibility. You never stop...being a momma.
Recently,God has allowed me to participate in training and to hear an awesome message on evangelism. The result? My prayer is increasingly becoming - "Use ME, Lord!" I have so many ideas that run through my mind - I believe they come from Him. I am not a particularly creative person - but my God is! Yesterday, I got to spend some time with my parents, an aunt and a cousin(who I do not know well). I thought I would come on home, and my cousin said, "Don't leave! I want to talk to you!" I thought (why would she want to talk to me - she doesn't really know me). After awhile, she asked to see pictures of my family - and I went online to show my facebook photos. She began to share about her son and her daughter - and became emotional. She has raised her children in church - "done her best" so to speak. But they are going through "stuff". I began to share testimony of things in our lives and how God has worked. I hugged her and encouraged her. After a bit, she said, "See? This is why I needed to talk to you!" I had preconceived notions of how God would or could use me. No, I didn't lead anyone to the Lord. I didn't do some great feat. I only encouraged and exhorted a sister to not give up - to keep loving and praying and trusting. I believe God used me! Praise His Name!!!!
I believe I have had more training in the past 10 years than anyone ought to be allowed to have. I have this desire to know about things - to know how to do things. I have learned how to be a clown, how to make balloon animals, how to do hands of praise and "sticks", puppets, witness training, mentoring, women's ministry training - oh I could go on and on.
This week, I completed one more. I am now certified to teach English as a Second Language. I am praying and excited to see what doors God is going to open for me to do this! For 5 weeks, I got to teach the children at our Hispanic Ministry - and I fell in love with those 10 little girls! Their mothers speak no English - there may be people from other countries here as well.
I wish I had some pictures - this is rather blah to look at - but to read, ah, that's another matter! God is working and He is going to allow me to partner with him. Pray that I'll be able to start ESL class this September!
Do you ever look back over your life? I know some of you are in the busy, busy time of life; raising children, building careers and hopefully gaining new and exciting insight into our loving Savior and everlasting God! Maybe you haven't lived quite long enough to really - look back.
Lately, Jay and I often reminisce and "look back". I guess it just comes with age. We laugh at most things. We truly were so young and stupid at times. Youth has no fear. Youth is invincible. And most of the time, I can say - I think I handled all that craziness pretty well! There are a few times, I wish I could have a "do-over" or I hang my head in shame and regret.
But ultimately - it is all those twists and turns of life that make me who I am right now. The hard times have taught me and refined me. The glorious times have given me optimism and hope. The memories give me times to reflect, to be reminded, to enjoy all over again!
What a boring life this would be - if it were all flat, the same - no twists or turns.
Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Daughter, Sis, Aunt, Co-Worker but most importantly Child of the King are the titles I wear. I have entered a season that many might call "winter". My hubby has retired from full-time pastoring - I am no longer the Pastor's Wife. I have gone back to work full time in a new position - and am in the process of relocating. We are seeking God's path for this "season". I write to share my thoughts, feelings, and all I am learning from my Savior as He leads me along.