Saturday, October 13, 2012

Relationally speaking...


Just thinking about relationships this morning.  Wondering why something so important to our well-being is SO hard.  How do I know they are important to our well-being?  In His very first book God says, "It is not good for man to be alone."  We NEED each other. 

Our relationship with our Heavenly Father through His Son, Jesus Christ is the foundation for our relationship with others.  My husband has preached so many times, "You can't be wrong with God and be right with others."  Or, "If you are wrong with others, you are not right with God."  The Word is chock full of how we are to relate to others, treat others...and how those relationships flow out of our relationship with Him.

One of my sons went through a time in the 2nd grade where he came home from school everyday - upset and troubled.  He had trouble with all the kids, he had trouble with his teachers - and let me tell you, as his mother - I was TROUBLED!  No mom wants her child to be mistreated, or without friends, or feeling left out.  I struggled with how to help him (just one of those many times we wish for a "how-to" manual for rearing children).  Finally, I told him this - "If you are having trouble with EVERYBODY - the trouble is you."
And believe it or not, the trouble began to cease.

Relationships are hard - because we are a sinful people.  We are self-centered.  We are lazy.  We are not always listening, or aware.  We too often interpret words and actions through a filter of our own issues or  experiences - which results in misinterpretation.  We need to learn to put others first.  You know the principle of reaping and sowing works here too.  If I put others first...that's what I will reap.  If I work at being sensitive and caring...someone, somewhere, sometime  will be sensitive and caring to me.  What goes around, comes around - I'm sure that's in the Bible somewhere.  Ha!

Do I have perfect relationships?  Unfortunately, no.  I have differing relationships with each person in my life. I have six wonderful children - so unique and different.  I love each one with all my heart, and I'm pretty sure they know it.  At the same time, I have differing relationships with each one.  Relationships grow, change, deepen, fade - depending on what we invest in them.  Relationships are a two-way street.  It's very difficult, almost impossible to have any quality relationship that is totally one-sided. I so love those heart friends who I don't get to see often, yet every time we meet - that instant connection is there!  Some relationships do seem to be easier than others.

 This is a photo of a few of my grandchildren building their relationship on a love of chocolate gravy and biscuits.

And when we consider the most amazing relationship of all...that the God of the Universe desires to have a relationship with ME.  He desires me to know Him intimately...and to become more like Him as I learn about Him.

Oh, I could go on and on and on - and I am no expert; there's nothing new here. I'm just a wife, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a friend who looks around and sees how I fail in my relationships. Then I am reminded that God is my #1   I cannot expect others to fill my needs, to make me secure, to bring me happiness or joy.  That is unrealistic and unfair to those dear people in my life, because they can't do it!  No one can fill me except God and if I understand Him correctly, I am to be serving and trying to meet others' needs, not seeking my own.

So, help me, Lord, to forget about me and follow in Your steps.